My whole entire life I knew my mom didn’t treat my siblings and I like a normal mother should. She was abusive. Not with her hands but with her mouth. My entire life growing up I was quiet and submissive because I was too afraid of what the consequences of my words and actions were. I grew up with anxiety and panic attacks and was constantly self-conscious. If I picked out my clothes that day, before I walked out of the door my mom would tell me how stupid I looked. If my makeup wasn’t to her liking she would tell me I was ugly. When I gained weight I was fat. She would grab my arm fat and say “cover these up” while laughing at me.

I have a specific memory of my handwriting being too sloppy for my mother in second grade so she sat me down and made me write and if it was too sloppy for her liking she would spank me.

My entire life was consumed with what I looked like and what others thought about me. When I told my mother my anxiety and panic attacks were too bad and I wanted to get help. She told me to suck it up. That it wasn’t that bad. When I broke my ankle and it continued to hurt after healing, my parents convinced me that I was imagining the pain and did not let me return to the doctor or have physical therapy.

When I worked for my mother and a bill for my college came through she showed me my check in front of all my coworkers and said “this is how much you made this check, I’m keeping all of it”

When I told my mother I was having extreme stomach pain and that I couldn’t go to work she told me to come in. That weekend I found out I had kidney stones.

When my husband left in the middle of the night to go tell his supervisor he wants to be discharged because he was panicking and couldn’t take being in the military anymore. I called my mother crying and told her I need a mental health day she told me I have to come in to work

When I found out my husband was getting a dishonorable discharge and that he had been talking to his ex girlfriend I went into work trying to keep this to myself and I had a bad day. After apologizing to the entire staff on my mothers orders. She let them tear me apart and then fired me in the public work group chat.