I can't type out the way I'm feeling without breaking down or having flashbacks but, essentially, I'm showing alot of symptoms of PTSD my ectopic was my 5th official pregnancy and I've lost all of them. The entire experience this time was just absolutely traumatizing and I'm having suicidal thoughts. I'm terrified but, I feel stupid and like I'm weak for feeling this way. I don't deserve to feel this way. There are soldiers that go through real trauma who have the right to be diagnosed with PTSD but, I feel like I'll get laughed out of the room if I ask for help. I can't even take a shower because of a horrible part of it that went on in there. I finally told my husband after keeping quiet and trying to hide it. He wants me to get help and he asked me to post on here to see if anyone else has had this? Am I just dumb for feeling this way? I feel like a murderer and a failure. Please, tell me your experiences. What should I do? How should i feel? Thank you in advance and I'm sorry for all of your losses.