After much emotion and discussion I agreed to give our baby my boyfriends last name. He thought we initially agreed on his and we hadn’t, he picked the perfect name and had a spiritual experience with the first name for a girl with his last name, and the baby became a person to him at that moment. When I mentioned wanting to discuss using my last name because I want to have the same name as the baby, he began experiencing grief and loss, like she was no longer a person anymore. Since it’s that painful to him and it’s not a person to me yet, after much discussion, I agreed to give the baby his last name. He has been involved and wonderfully supportive since day one, even though he didn’t want it and at 46 never thought he’d have kids. We are considering marriage but want to only marry if we want to be married, not because we got knocked up. We’ve been together 1 year and started as FWB. The feelings were there before the baby but we didn’t say “I love you” until after I disclosed the pregnancy. I know there are things I will experience as the baby’s mom that he will not experience and logically I should let him have this one. I feel really sad about not having the same last name as the baby, and I don’t know how to cope with it. I’m seeing a therapist in a few hours. Suggestions?