I'm just tired of all this. I'm tired of you playing video games all the time, and always talking about your goals to do X amount of gaming stuff while having no plans to spend time with me. I'm tired of you gaming every time we finish a movie together, or get back from a date night. It makes me feel like that's all you've thought about the whole time.

I wish you would help out more around the house. I feel like I spend all day missing my son grow up and missing opportunities to teach him things, all so that I can try and keep the house clean. And after I spend all day cleaning and getting the place looking nice while trying to keep an eye on [our son] and what he is doing and what he needs, you come home and leave your shoes all over the house, and your clothes littered on the bathroom floor and the bedroom floor.

If I want to keep up with the laundry, I have to do a load almost every day. And half the time I finally catch up, you decide to "clean" and throw all your clothes in the laundry basket, which usually adds up to another two loads.

I'm tired [husband]. I feel like I'm doing the work of three people. [Son], myself, and you; on top of being pregnant. And I'm worn out. And on the hard days, I can't help but think maybe I can lighten my work load. I figure I can lighten my load by leaving you. Or kicking you out rather. And I don't want to think that, which is why I've talked about going to therapy. But therapy won't change how much there is for me to do. It won't change how tired and worn out I am.

I hate to say it, but I even have our divorce all figured out in my head. I hate that I do. But I can't help but think about it some days.

I won't keep the kids from you. I figure you'll pick them up when you get off work and take them for the evening. I'll work 4 weeknights and a full shift on Saturday. Either you'll have them every Saturday and I have them Sunday, or we could do an every other weekend thing. I'm okay either way. I won't have to do your dishes, I won't have to do your laundry. I won't have to trip over your shoes at night and slip on your clothes in the bathroom. I'll have guaranteed "time off" from the kids, which I really don't even feel like I have when you're home.

I find myself thinking you'll be happier too. I imagine you'd move in with your parents, at least at first. They'd probably entertain the kids happily most days, which allows you to game more often than what you can do here. With me working more, I shouldn't need much financial help (I've done the math actually) and so after what child support/alimony you pay, you'd have plenty of spending money. For all the games you want.

I don't really like sex. Maybe it's my hormones, but right now I could care less if we never have sex again. And I know that hurts you. Without me, you'd be free to date. To hopefully find someone who can meet your needs. I don't hate you. I want you to be happy. And in a lot of ways I just don't think I make you happy anymore. Maybe there's someone out there who can.

Of course, I'd 100% be willing to work on this with you. I also can picture us being happy together. But I need your help. I need you to pick up after yourself, and help me teach our kids. I need you to make time for me. To show me you care. I want our kids to feel like they can talk to you about things, but I don't even feel like you listen to me. I don't want to feel like I'm some chore to you. Some thing you have to spend time with to keep happy. I don't want to see you do the bare minimum with our kids, so that you can play your video games. Because they'll see that too, and they'll feel just as dismissed and unimportant as I do. Maybe when I have this baby and get my hormones back to normal we will find ourselves with a better sex life, I'd like to think we would. I want to see us happy. Our kids to grow up with loving parents. And if you want the same, I need you to step up and show it.

If you think it's best we part ways, we can do that too. Again, I won't keep the kids from you. I like to think that if we go down that path, we can coparent civilly. Spend our kids birthdays together and maybe holidays too. I just need to know where you stand. Because I can't take this mental war I'm having anymore.

Edit: I'm going to have him read it either tonight or tomorrow morning. I guess I just posted here first because I feel so lost. I've been fighting this for so long, but I've been fighting it on my own, and I know I should be doing it with him. Hopefully soon I'll have my answer.