This is about to be a long story but I need advice badly.

So back in October of 2018 my boyfriend (who is now my husband) were living together. Money was getting tight so he decided he wanted to go active duty in the military. Which if he did, he would be placed in another state for his duty station. We talked about getting married so I could go with him. He was told he was gonna be placed in his duty station in February 2019 so We decided December or January we would have a small wedding so we could leave in February together.

He goes out ring shopping with my mother and buys a beautiful ring. But then I waited and waited and waited for him to propose and nothing happened. Finally end of November rolls around and I ask him why he hasn’t asked me to marry him yet. He tells me he doesn’t think it’s the best idea right now and that we should just do long distance and see how that works. I was heart broken. I cried and cried and begged him to let me come with him because I knew long distance would be really hard on me. He kept telling me no I can’t come with him and we just argued everyday about it and it got to the point where he stated to ignore me and not want anything to do with me. He wouldn’t even say “I love you” anymore. So I broke up with him.

He moved out in December and left me alone in the apartment by myself. I even spent Christmas alone. I cried everyday and continued to beg him to move back in or at least stay the night with me sometimes. He only came to stay the night with me when I cried on the phone begging him to. I guess I made him feel bad.

Then I found out he went and stayed the night with his ex one weekend when he got really drunk. I got so angry at him but I forgave him only because they both swore to God and told me they didn’t have sex. The only thing they did was kiss. His ex told me everything that happened when I asked her nicely. She apologized and said she had no idea that he had been seeing me still. I was so hurt but I loved him so much I forgave him almost instantly.

End of January comes around. I wound up getting pregnant. It was his baby. I hadn’t been with anyone else. I told him and he completely freaked out and wanted nothing to do with me. He told me he didn’t want to be with me or talk to me and he would only communicate with me if it was about the baby. He said he would send me money every month for doctor visits. And pay child support. He also said he would visit a couple times a year to see his child after it was born.

He left the first week in February and didn’t even tell me where he got stationed. I had no idea where he was. He ignored my calls and texts. He even ignored my text of my first ultrasound picture of the baby. I attempted to still try and call him everyday. Sometimes he would text back very short one word responses. And every once in a while if I asked to call him he would talk to me on the phone for a little bit.

Eventually I broke down and gave up on him. I accepted the fact he didn’t love me anymore and I was gonna be a single mom. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through.

As soon as I left him alone, Things took a huge turn. He started to notice I wasn’t texting or calling him anymore so he started to reach out to me more. Then he started to randomly call me just to talk and would sound so happy to hear my voice. He asked me to FaceTime every night. He asked how the baby was doing. He told me where he was and what he was doing. I was so happy. He eventually apologized and explained his reasons why he did what he did. (he said he got cold feet and was terrified to be a dad so he ran) He told me he still loved me and wish so badly he didn’t do what he did to me. I guess you could say we started dating long distance.

About a month later (March) he asked me to fly to come see him and stay with him for a week. So I did. He got me a promise ring and promised me one day we would get married. After I flew home we talked on FaceTime everyday after he got home from work and we would talk all night. And then in April he drove 10 hours to see me.

Long story short when he got there we got married through the court house and I drove back with him to go live with him.

Here we are August of 2019 happily married. And expecting our baby boy in less than 2 months. We never fight or argue and he’s always loyal to me. He spoils me and makes me feel like the happiest women in the world.

BUT I still have days where I remember what he did to me and what he put me through. I cry about it sometimes and I just don’t understand why he hurt me so bad and then all the sudden want me back. I know for a fact he wasn’t seeing anyone else. I don’t wanna bring up how I feel to him because we rarely ever fight or argue and I don’t wanna start anything. What do you ladies think? Was I wrong for forgiving him? Am I crazy for not getting over what happened? Help please!!