I, like many other mommies on here, have spent months scouring these stories for juicy details and experiences with all kinds of births. It got me through pregnancy and so I figured I would share my birth story too!

This pregnancy was hard to begin with. This being my 4th child and my last pregnancy was only 18 months ago. My body wasn’t ready for another baby and it was rough.

I’ve had 3 vaginal births with epidurals and we figured this go around we would have a natural water birth, in a birth center, not a hospital, with a midwife and not an OBGYN. My 3rd baby was a very traumatic birth that involved being bossed around and bullied by doctors and my blood pressure dropping so low due to a badly placed epidural that I spent most of my labor in distress. We decided we were not going to do that again. We spent this entire pregnancy taking classes and preparing for the difficulties of natural childbirth and getting really excited for all of the amazing things that come along with it.

Fast forward to 34 weeks. I’m told my anemia is out of control and I can’t have a “birth center” birth unless my iron comes up. Okay. Cool. Start taking strong iron supplements 2x a day. Get SUPER constipated. Get tested again at 36 weeks and my iron is still too low. At this point I’m heartbroken because I have a fear of the hospital due to my last birth. Luckily, my midwife is amazing and suggests I get iron transfusions. Sweet! Head to the hospital and get my first infusion.

Fast forward again to 37 weeks. My iron is finally where it needs to be. The transfusion worked. My body is already trying to go into labor. I’m working with my husband and doula every day to manage the discomfort and prepare for active labor. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. I’m READY to have a baby the old fashioned way and my husband is ready to do this with me every step of the way! Alrighty. Just waiting on our little one to come.

Fast forward to 38 weeks. Still pregnant and have been in “early/prodomal labor” for a week now. Still excited. Still ready to do this. But also exhausted from lack of sleep and patience wearing thin from discomfort and exhaustion.

Get to my check up with my midwife and she expresses concern that my belly is measuring 3-1/2 weeks. I had a HUGE belly growth spurt out of nowhere. She’s worried about extra fluid and sends me for an ultrasound ASAP. I’m not sure what to expect but the ultrasound shows normal fluid levels... and a 10 lb baby. ☹️

I’m not particularly excited about naturally birthing a 10 lb baby but women do it all the time, so I’m thinking, “hell yeah I can do this!”.... then I go back to my midwife who “wants to talk about things”... cue another heartbreak.. the OBGYN that oversees the midwives is in the room waiting for me. Ugh. She proceeds to explain the difficulties of birthing a baby this big, and tells me I’m not allowed to deliver at the birth center, I have to go to the hospital. Okay. I’m down with this. I’m terrified of the hospital but I am reasonable enough to know that my baby may need extra hands and the risks of something going wrong are elevated, so I need to be in a hospital. Alright. I can wrap my head around that.

And then the other shoe drops. Or at least it smacks me in the head. I ask the obvious question, “can we induce ASAP so she doesn’t get any bigger?” I want to deliver naturally still and I want her out NOW.... midwife looks like she’s going to be sick...OBGYN says, “don’t you want a c section?”... 💔😐🤦🏻‍♀️😡

Cue the tears and anger and frustration. No. I sure as hell don’t want a c section. WHY would I want that? I want to deliver her naturally and in a damn tub, with candles and essential oils and dim lights and my husband holding me while I push and no machines and nothing attached to me. THATS what I WANT. But I’ll settle for a hospital birth with my midwife...

OB then proceeds to tell me she will not allow the midwives to deliver me vaginally, and she and the other OB in the practice won’t do it either. My pelvis is too narrow and the baby is too big and the risk of shoulder dystocia is too high. She “highly recommends” a c section...all while telling me I don’t actually have a say in the matter..

Cue more tears and a long conversation with my husband. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s too late to find a new doctor. I could go into labor any minute now. What is actually safe? Am I being bullied into a c section? Should I try a vaginal delivery with a random doctor on call and just refuse a C/S? I’m upset. I’m heartbroken. How did we go from months of natural labor prep and what should have been a perfect last birth experience, a special bonding for my husband and I, to a c section? Ultimately, we decide on the C/S. It’s not worth the risk of shoulder dystocia and we don’t want a strange doctor pushing anything and everything on us during a risky vaginal delivery. I’m still heartbroken and we go home, with a c section scheduled for 3 days away.

We get home and I’m so upset. I want to meet my little girl. I want the birth that I planned. I want to have SOME control back. I’m OVER it. All my patience flies out the window. I tell my hubby, “we’re having this baby TONIGHT”!

In comes the midwives brew and start of the labor portion of this ridiculously long post. I take the brew around 4:30 pm. It’s DISGUSTING. I drink the entire thing out of anger and stubbornness. I’m determined to have this baby now. I clean my entire home. I do 6 loads of laundry. I take my 3 daughters on a walk. I attempt sex with my hubby (no amount of stubbornness could get me through the sex lol, it was way too uncomfortable and wasn’t worth the try). Then, 7:30 pm hits and I have to take a massive poop. Not diarrhea, just gently emptied the entire contents of my tummy. It was an adventure. It was refreshing. I feel like a whole new person. I just pooped away all the frustration and negativity from the last month of pregnancy. Alright. Let’s have this baby.

After my poop I start feeling some light contractions. No big deal, I’ve been feeling these for weeks. I call my mom, she’s driving in from our hometown, she’ll be here by 9:30. Hubby and I put our 3 girls to bed and I take a hot shower. By 9:30 my mom is there and my contractions are steady and starting to hurt. I want to go to the hospital, my husband says “let’s wait til they’re stronger”... patience is wearing thin... 10 pm rolls around and my anger is back in FULL FORCE. Contractions are 3 min a part and HURT. We head to the hospital and my husband is in the dog house.

Things then got fast and furious from there. They hooked me up and checked me. 4 cm dilated and contractions on top of each other. Time to have a baby! I’m in an operating room 45 minutes later getting a spinal. I’m terrified. I’m crying. What did I get myself into? I can’t handle the spinal and start throwing up all over myself in the OR. Finally my hubby joins me and brings in a speaker playing our wedding music. This was everything I needed. Just my man and our music.

A few minutes later I hear that sweet sweet beautiful sound of my daughter showing off her strong lungs. I don’t care anymore about any of the events of the past month. My daughter is here and she’s breathing. That’s all that matters. They let me see her but the meds have made me so drowsy I can hardly keep my eyes open. Hubby goes with baby and I fall asleep for the rest of the surgery.

I wake up in recovery and learn that my girl is healthy and perfect and 9lb 2oz. I also learn that she was already stuck in my pelvis, so the decision to do the c section was the right call. She swallowed a lot of fluid and needed a little help, but overall she’s okay. I’m still too tired and drugged up to hold her. Hubby does skin to skin and I pass back out.

Fast forward to our room and I’m finally awake and can put my sweet girl to the breast. She’s HUNGRY. She’s perfect. I’m in love and in awe. All of the bad leading up to this has faded away.

I will say, 4 days post c section, that this SUCKS. I am glad this was my last child (tubes tied during c section), because I never want to put my body through a surgery like that again. But I stand by the fact that it was all worth it.

If you’re still with me, thank you for reading and God bless you and your babies, or your hopeful babies 💜