I tought about how I've been single pretty much my whole life. in 17 and have never had a boyfriend. Heck, not even my first kiss.I know I'm still really young but being a señior in high school, and never having had a boyfriend really make me think. I've never held hands with a guy before, or really had a guy be interested in me. No guy has ever been interested in me. There have been times where i may feel like the guy I'm interested in is also interested in me. But nothing has ever come out of it. I just sometimes feel insecure, unwanted, not beautiful or desirable. I know that I should be focusing on my studies, and that's what I'm always doing. But I cant help to think of what it would be like to have a special someone in my life. I love my family and they make me happier than anyone else in the world. But I'd like to have someone else to love and that will love me, in a different type of way. Some days i think i will never have a boyfriend because I am too ugly and awkward. It's rare that I think there is someone out there for me. That will love me for me. Although recently I feel like I have been getting signs of a possible relationship coming my way. But I'm probably just being silly... It would be nice though. I just cant imagine a guy actually being interested in me. Hell,most guys dont ever notice me when i walk into a room. Well at least not for any good reasons. I'm so big I'm hard not to see. Which is one of the reasons why I think I've never had a b. Because I'm overweight and feel in pretty. I know most people will say that I shouldn't be thinking about this, and how this isn't important but that's just how I feel. Maybe I'm meant to be single. I just need to stop overthinking, and let God lead me the way.