I need support please part one

I’m 23. I’ve been through so much just like everyone else . But my entire childhood has been traumatic . I was once a happy child between my newborn stage and till I was 7 years old . Between my parents I was an only child. I was raised by myself till I was 7 . My mother had two other daughters from Cuba whom she brought to the states . My half sisters were 14 and 17 years old . I understand the pain they had . My mother left them in Cuba so that she can come to the states and help them from here . My mom obviously met my dad and created me . I felt that they felt that my mom forgot about them and have animosity towards my mom because she left . But it was for a good cause . Anyways once my mom brought them here the 14 year old bullied me so much . Would hit me call me fat and ugly even came to a point were she poured hot boiling pasta water towards me . As I grew older and learned how to defend myself our fights got worst . She would try to over power me but I ended up doing so . And our fights stopped . I was happy but I wasn’t happy anymore because I actually wanted a sister to play with and to talk to . My mom didnt listen to my feelings or she was to busy for work . My dad was there I didn’t tell him how I felt because he would make my day and make me forget about it . I was 8 years old . My parents separated and that was the end of my happiness I did see my dad every weekend so I was with my mother during school days a year later The only person who would care about me loved me for me my father passed away . He died so cruel . He was burned . He worked at a junk yard and he was using a fired torched to take out the gas of the vehicle before they crushed it the car just blowed up while he was under it . In the video that the fire Marshal gave us you can see him running away on fire . Yes I saw it it was presented in the court I had to see it I was force to . The only last video or memory I had of him.( this was after he died) He didn’t past away there . He was escorted to the hospital were he was alive for 6 months . He had 37 surgeries were they transferred skin from his leg to his face and upper body . He was burned I was scared to touch him . I was 9 years old !! The first 3 months my mother lied to me told me he went away from work it was fishy to me because he would of told me . Then she told me he got into a car accident and broke his leg that he was in the hospital . I wanted to go see him . Once I arrived at the hospital a crew of specialists approached me and tried to talk to me about my dad situation. I broke down when I saw him . Doctors told me that he wasn’t doing so good that they gave him weeks to live probably days . I entered the room and called him. That’s when he opened his eyes and his heart rate went up . 🥰 he was happy to see me . He couldn’t talk because he had a tube inside his throat . He barley moved . He tried just for me he held my hand and I hugged him and I was scared because he was so burn . It was like he was another person . Everyday after school I would see him weeks pass and he was doing good. Until his diabetes kicked in then he wasn’t . I told him I needed him I didn’t want him to die . I couldn’t live with out him . On June 5 2007 I woke up at 4 am with a nightmare screaming he died he passed away . My family tried to calm me down that he’s still here they put me to sleep again . During that time I was sleeping my mom got a call from the hospital and told her to come. My older sister woke me up and got me dressed to go see him . I arrived and we were waiting for my mom. She didn’t have to say anything to me when she got out that elevator. I knew what had happen . I lost him . I felt him at 4 am his soul came to me . I knew it . I broke down in front of the waiting room like a little kids wanting candy and making a fuss . I ran to his room and saw him with no tubes with nothing on . Purple and so cold . I was isolated I stayed to myself . I didn’t want to eat I didn’t want to do anything . I pushed my friends away my family away . I started middle school and I started hanging out with the wrong people . Started doing drugs to take the pain away . I started partying . And my mom started caring less. I tried talking to her but she never understood. By the age of 15 she kicked me out because she said I was to much . And to emotional . I started working at a bar making 500 a night just bartending I knew a friend who was a worker there got me in by lying about my age told the owners I was 18 and yes I was 15 they didn’t ask me for any ID I had the body of a 20 year old I was thick and slim . I got emancipated which means I’m the state of Florida I was already legal . I met my kids father in that bar he was 21 I was 15 turning 16 . He like we’re my head was at I had goals and dreams . I had my own apartment he decided to help me by moving in my apartment obviously ended getting pregnant with my daughter . My scholarship for basketball was terminated. My dreams and goals I couldn’t complete them and pregnant and working at the bar wasn’t the ideal job I started working for Nike . In my first trimester he cheated on me with his ex gave me chymidia . Got treated and he told me he wasn’t going to hurt me again I gave him a chance . Cause I was pregnant and he showed me how much of a family he wanted . My mom wasn’t there she didn’t know I was pregnant until the day I gave birth cause I had told my older sister . May 31 I gave birth to my daughter and her dad was there with me all the way very supportive and all. After the baby was born I wasn’t working or making income he fell into drugs . Started getting abusive towards me . I ended up being pregnant again and my daughter was only three months old . He started getting very mean and started hitting me . I was 17 years old . With one baby and another one on the way . December 18 2014 was his mother’s birthday we went out to a seafood restaurant and celebrate her birthday . They wanted to stay out late but I wasn’t having it I wanted to go home and breast feed my daughter and pump at home for the next day. They took their sweet time . His mom does drugs too so I know she gave him something . I had MY car and keys . I drove home and when we came home he wanted my car to go to the because and do what he does. I told him no ! My daughter was up she was 7 months standing on her own and I was 4 months or 5 months pregnant. The minute I told him no he pistol whips me and opened my head I fell on the floor. My 7 month old saw me gush blood the police came took my daughter and rushed me to the hospital. Btw when he did that he left like a coward. The one who called the cops were my neighbors .