I found out I was pregnant on Thursday, retested Friday it it was positive again. I told a few people (manager at work, sister and mother in law) before my partner because I was working out how to tell him. I told them last night when I was round and we were chatting about how excited we were.

And then two hours ago me and my partner had sex... except there was loads of blood.

Like fucking loads like I’ve never seen before. I knew this was bad. He asks if I’m okay and takes me to the toilet and shower and because he doesn’t know I was pregnant he’s saying that’s not okay, that’s not normal etc.

I have a mutated blood gene which is called factor five Leiden. It means I’m more prone to miscarriages. I researched like mad before TTC because I remember the doctors told me I would have trouble being pregnant when I was 14 and first went o the pill.

I really didn’t think it would cause this much trouble. I was about 5 weeks and now nothing. I really hope it doesn’t cause me grief trying to conceive forever I hope there’s a way to get it under control.

Now I have to tell my partner I WAS pregnant and I miscarried.... all the excitement gone and now the shit starts.

I feel so awful I didn’t understand how hard it would be with my condition to have a baby. I’m devastated honestly, I’ve never felt like this.