How to know I'm in a real labor??

So it kinda sucks as I already had 3 scares. I kept getting irregular contractions almost every 4-7 minutes, they were preaty painful, it would last all night and would go away in the morning. So it's very disappointing... I'm having one right now as we speak, but this time my lower back hurts like a lot especially during constructions. But they are still irregular, between 5-7 minutes apart and it feels like my back is constantly in pain, just gets worse during contractions