I'm a 35 year old man and my wife and I have been married for 10 years. We've lived together since I was 22. Our relationship has been amazing. But I'm begining to have our first big issue and I don't know how to handle it. Our sex life isn't keeping me satisfied. The first probelm is I'm less attracted to her. I know it's awful and I dont want to feel this way but I do. Her body has changed because she gave me best gift a man could ask for, a child. I couldn't be more thankful. I wish my head and heart could get on the same page. I know these changes make her even more beautiful but unfortunately my body doesn't react the way I want it to when I see her in an intimate moment.

The second issue is our sex. She's not as adventurous as I thought she was. It's a blow job or sex and the usual positions. She doesn't want to try sex toys, anal, or anything out of her comfort zone. Again I completely understand this and it's her body. But I'm just not interested so I can't preform. We do watch porn in our relationship and I am turned on if we watch something and have no issue performing. I do not watch porn often only occasionally. I have never cheated on her.

I love my wife and appreciate everything she does for us. She deserves much better from me. I have tried many different approaches over the years to make her feel comfortable enough with me to try and impove our sex life. We even have been seeing a therapist for the past year and a half. She just told me yesterday that she wants to stop going to therapy because we don't need it. She said our life is pretty good. I attempted to delicately explain that I'm having trouble performing during sex for reasons I don't understand fully but she said she thinks our sex life is fine and wants to stop.

I can't help but lust over women I see at work or passing by. I want to watch porn more often and not bother her but I also dont want her to feel replaced and shes already explained she would. I need some advice.

Responses here-

I also feel horribly for my wife.

I have and will continue to go to therapy alone. But I also hope she continues.

I want so badly to be ok with not trying new things but I'm just not attracted to the same routines anymore so I can't preform.

Should I stop watching porn all together? I don't watch it often maybe once or twice a month but I could try giving it up. I just haven't because it helps me to preform for her.

If I just accept that she won't try anything new then I will be where I'm at now, unsatisfied and lusting over other woman while not being able to have sex with my wife. My body does not react. Unless I find some help thru therapy which is what I'm hoping for.

I'm realizing that a few might be insulted by what ive said. I'm sorry. I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to fantasize over other woman. I dont want my wife to feel badly shes an amazing wife and mother and an overall good person. I'm only explaining my problem best I know how.