My husband has been depressed and dealing with anxiety issues for over a decade. Last November he had a major breakdown out of no where and nearly lost his mind. He started going to therapy twice a week, but even then it wasn’t enough. Many nights he would contemplate me taking him to a psychiatric hospital.

Since maybe mid May, things are significantly better. He’s still depressed and very anxious but it’s “manageable”... most days. He’s going to therapy once a week, meditating daily and doing some other mental health work.

On good days, things are good. But when he’s overly stressed... not so good.

I know that he’s had some really dark thoughts about self harm and harming me. He’s never touched me, never laid a finger on me. I would’ve never know about the dark thoughts had he not eventually told me.

Some days his mood flips out of no where. Like one night we were snuggling and out of no where he started yelling that I don’t prioritize him. Which was baffling because my life revolves around being there with him because of his severe depression.

Today, he got super pissed and started yelling at me, eventually calling me a “dumb fucking bitch”.

It’s so hard to watch him suffer with his mental state, then see improvements, then see this “flip” just.... turn off And on. His therapist knows about everything. The mood changes, dark thoughts, etc. but she’s insistent that he doesn’t need a psychiatrist or meds. And i just don’t get it.

I’d also like to say that yes, calling me names is 10000% not ok. I’ve been sad all fucking day. Because here’s this man who shows me so much love and care. I recently hurt myself and it was like he was physically hurting to see me hurt. He’s been taking care of me 1000% during this injury, not complaining ever. He is a good person. But there’s something happening in his brain and I can’t fix it.

I feel like after 10 years, my rope is getting shorter. I dont know how many more episodes I can deal with. I love him and I want him well. But I’m tired and I’m sad. And i dont know what else to do.

And y’all, I feel so fucking alone. Everyone thinks our life is perfect because we make good money, we have nice things, we take nice vacations, blah blah blah. I feel like I have literally no one I can talk to about this. We have the same therapist (huge mistake) so I don’t feel like I can even share with her.

Do you think it’s time that he gets more help than what he has? How should I approach this?