I don’t even know where to begin with this. I’m just feeling so down about myself. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and on bed rest. I’m feeling depressed, for the first time in many years. There are many different reasons. I’ve been showing signs of preterm labor since 24 weeks, so I’m super stressed about that, just trying to keep my baby in for long enough. I’m having to take time off work unpaid, so I’m worried about money. I used to get up at 5am and go to work m-f. I loved being pregnant and always felt cute. Now I’m home in bed, am supposed to stay off my feet, and I feel like and ugly hot mess all the time. My 6 year old has been acting out, mostly I think because I haven’t been able to spend time with her like normal. I do as much as I can from bed/couch, but she wants to play and be active and i can’t really do what she wants right now. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, and since being put on bed rest, I feel like I don’t see him as much (we work at the same facility, plus my daughter and I would go to his house once or twice a week). All these things have just made me feel really down. And it takes A LOT to get me down. I’ve always been a really happy, positive person.

Well the other night, I was on FaceTime with my boyfriend, talking about how stressed I am, and I was pretty upset. He made the comment “this isn’t the super strong and confident woman i first met”. This made me feel even worse. Like wth?! Who could be super strong and confident with all this going on? I wrote him a message later about how that comment made me feel, and he apologized and said he didn’t mean it in a bad way, just that he’s never seen me like this and it makes him sad, and he doesn’t know what to do.

I just don’t know how to pick myself up right now.