RANT WARNING

I really hope this doesn't make me sound selfish.

But it finally happened. my fiance's sister is pregnant and I can't help but feel jealous. Maybe even sad and angry because no one ever seems to understand what I, a woman with unexplained infertility goes through everyday seeing pregnant women walk down the street. Or my best friend who I was there with as she delivered her baby blocking me because she didnt want my negative vibes around her child. The pain gets worse every month. We keep trying and trying only to be let down each month... Each month I feel a disappointment to my fiance, although he says he is happy either way. I get the "when are you gonna have babies?" questions more often that I thought I would. I mostly just smile and say hopefully soon. I guess I never really realized how much I wanted a baby of my own until I couldn't do the one thing my body is supposed to do. My ex made that clear, told me that I'm so screwed up that my body won't give me a baby because I don't deserve one. Ive been told if I dont start popping out babies my fiance will move onto something better or my family will think I dont want to bless them. When that isnt the case at all. I just cant...