I’m wondering if there are any others out there who have a good relationship with their mom (good meaning not bad, in my case...it’s mostly okay) and for any reason didn’t have her there?

I had a fully natural birth with my first. My mom didn’t like it. She talked bad about it to her friends and made sure I knew that it was hard on me. She basically has NOTHING positive to say.

I for one, loved my birth and knew I would do it again.

Well....I’m 30 weeks pregnant and she is making it clear that the pain is unnecessary. (This is said with several different comments)

She knows I’m still going to go all natural, she knows I’m having a midwife this time and she knows I’m natural minded.

My heart is honestly broken.

I’m a birth Doula myself and know how much mothers can play a huge and helpful role being in the room.

I watch sweet videos where mother is educated and helps out tremendously and to know this won’t be my mom, crushes me. I’m sure she will help but it’s her mindset that offends me. I want her mind to be on the same page as mine but it won’t ever be. I know she’s not willing to learn about natural birth to help me.

She’s all for me doing it but just can’t support the idea that it’s necessary. She doesn’t believe that it’s better in any way, I should say.

I should add, we got in huge fights during my last pregnancy over decisions my husband and I wanted to make. She didn’t like how we didn’t want

her to text her friends pictures of our baby and she didn’t like how we wanted them to wait to post on fb. She also didn’t like how we asked them not to kiss him etc...

So anyway...I can’t convince myself that she would be much help if she can’t believe it’s good for me...

She helped last time and was comforting but the way she basically judged my first birth still gets to me and now with the recent little disagreement we had....I’m considering not having her there this time.

Is that crazy?

We are a very close family and they are very much (sometimes too much) involved so it feels weird even saying it.

I DO NOT know what to do...

I don’t want to regret not having her there later on. I’m sure I’ll want my mother at some point right?

I basically sent her a cry out for support following several of her comments while hanging out and texted her the reasons why I believed a natural birth was best for me and she took it such a wrong way...

Said that I’m saying an epidural is bad and that means that what she did was bad with her kids and then even went on to compare MY BIRTH to HERS. Saying I had a hard time and she didn’t (which she brings that up a lot)

I even tried to be super nice and sweet and tried to avoid offending her but she’s very dramatic.

But please tell me I’m not the only one who is making this decision? I know I could be being overly sensitive but it is my birth and it’s a monumental moment and I want to be 100% confident in my surroundings.

I feel like I’ve tried everything with her...maybe someone has more tips?