Well...

Long story short, we haven't been on the same page in a long time and I was hoping that it was changing.... Tonight we went out and I thought it was a good time. We didn't argue about anything and I actually felt pretty good. Our 4th baby is due in 10 days. I was having contractions and hoping for the best. Then we came home and had a fire while they were drinking, his sister watched the other kids for us. Then he corners me in the kitchen and basically says that he loves me but isn't in love with me. I'm having a second kid with him like really? I've pretty much been alone for weeks now and I thought he wanted to come back and work on things. I'm laying in bed with out 20mo old and our 12yr old and I don't know what to do. I kinda want to cry. I didn't say much because I feel like I love him and things are just hard right now but that really made me sad. Like I've been through some shit. My first husband cheated on me the whole time I was pregnant and left when our son was 10 days old. My second fiancee gave me an std from a girl he cheated on me with when he was stationed in hawaii. Then decided that went he got back from Afghanistan that he didn't want to marry me and kicked me out of our house, took the car and my ring and the 20000 I put into the house. I've picked myself up and moved on and tried not to let it keep me from loving again. But here I am, feeling like a single mom again. Of 4 this time, instead of the two I was doing ok with. Now I feel like I am drowning again and this is worse than before. I'm not even sure that I want him there when I go in labor. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with this. I can't tell anyone, I mean I have no one to talk to. I'm sure I put on a good show letting everyone think things are fine. I'm just lost now...