So my SO and I are moving in together and have merged most of our finances. We have a joint checking account and a joint savings account as well as separate accounts for both. We do plan to get married soon so we haven’t really had any disagreements on putting our finances together. We plan to use the joint checking account for all household bills including rent, utilities, grocery, eating out, etc. & up until today phone bills.

We are both currently on our respective parents phone plans and we just give our parents money for our portion. We discussed and agreed to get on a plan together and get off our parent’s plan. My mom is completely on board with this but when my SO told his mom, she seemed to be on board but is really saying the opposite. She told my SO how much was left to pay his phone off which he told her he would give her money for. She then told him that she called her phone company (different from who we agreed to go with) and they told her how she could lower her bill and somehow she learned that if my SO stays on her plan and goes to the company store and shows his military ID then they will reduce their bill even more (which currently has her, my SO, and my SO’s brother on it).

With what my SO is paying on his phone, he won’t see any change on how much he was already giving his mom to pay his portion. It’s basically reducing costs for his mom and brother bc his mom is paying for his brothers line and phone. To the best of my knowledge, his mom can afford it just fine, although she doesn’t particularly like paying for his brother’s line bc he’s also an adult. On the other hand, if he gets on a plan with me, his “half” will be cheaper than what he’s currently paying or will pay with the discount. But my SO is now really considering staying on his mom’s line.

I understand that with my SO being in the military, any plan he’s on will be cheaper. And I’m not trying to be a bitch about him helping them lower their phone plan. But we agreed to get on a plan together as we merge our finances bc it made the most sense as we’re together and financially for our household.

Am I being selfish or am I right in thinking my SO should respectfully decline and start a new plan with me, like we discussed?