So I just need to vent for a second...

I never wanted a baby shower. People pushed me into having one. I recently found out my baby is going to have complications when it's born and we're still in the beginning stages of figuring out the extent.

SO and I don't want to share this news because my parents will use it to their benefit and we don't want that to be the talk of his family.

We cancelled the baby shower because it was getting really stressful. The reason mentioned above, but also it was becoming a pain to plan. MIL insisted still, even though we said it makes us really uncomfortable. We agreed to just have SOs immediate family celebrate at Thanksgiving. Now SIL is texting me about planning one too.

I've already had to ask my mom to back off, as her "excitement" is really making me anxious. My dad isn't talking to me at all because I said I didn't want anyone visiting for 2 weeks after baby is born, again they don't know anything about the medical issues. Now my SOs family is pressuring me into a baby shower that I don't want.

I can't escape and I honestly am starting to feel so alone. My SO is great and I know I'm not, I just didn't know I'd have all this pressure from other people. I honestly just want to work, play clarinet, and grow a healthy baby. No one ever asks me about my life anymore other than how's the baby. My fix to this is to distance myself, but clearly that's not making me feel good. It makes me feel like such a bitch, but I don't know how to handle all this pressure.