I really need to rant/vent. I have no friends. I have ASD and some other disorders. Sorry in advance about my poor grammar I’m just super frustrated. But anyway...

Anyone else get frustrated when someone calls you by a stereotype?

Like, I’m pretty sure this lady at this pregnancy/baby center called me gothic because I like to make Halloween decorations (scary and non scary stuff) and then seemed pretty negative about it. I make stuff inspired by Disney and horror movies such as Pennywise. I don’t copy them, like gluing graphics onto the wood as some people do, my stuff is painted and just inspired by movie and cartoon characters so obviously it doesn’t look the same. Then the woman said her step mother or something almost got sued for making Disney embroidery and trying to sell it as an online business. (mine are just wood cutouts I make for fun) but I’m not selling it anywhere as an online business, and I’m not copyrighting anything and I absolutely love making this stuff because it’s fun to paint, its stuff I love, it’s not me applying graphics, I’m literally just painting by hand what I like and some people ask me if they can buy it and money is hard these days so yeah I’ll take the money for what I’ve painted not to mention a lot of others also do that. I see that stuff on Etsy all the time. She also seemed surprised when I said I cut the wood out myself - not the first time someone got surprised since I’m a girl using a damn jigsaw. maybe I’m just taking it all the wrong way but my anxiety is up, and my week has been really bad to the point i feel like I’m going to have a meltdown any second.

I think I’m just going to stop going there. Now I feel like they are judging me. The woman added me on Facebook when I first started going, and said she was showing the other staff member there that stuff, and that’s when she said that about her stepmom. I love learning about milestones my son should be hitting but I guess I’ll just start reading about it online instead of going there.

Also, I’m only comfortable wearing black, otherwise I feel like I stick out. Reminded me of when I had a girl in middle school make fun of me for wearing a light blue hoody once. She said “if I was gothic I wouldn’t wear blue” and proceeded to laugh with the other kids. I kept to myself so I don’t know why they had to pick on me.

So much crap has been going on this week, like everyday something has happened. I’m losing sleep, I have things to do, my bf has been clingy, I need to visit family, my friend is in a rehabilitation center, I need to visit her, I missed a doctor appointment about my knee that’s been hurting, my dog and fiancé died a while back and I miss them to the point I can’t process anything, I cant even think straight and right now i feel like I’m shutting down. I’m just laying in bed feel like I can’t find strength to move or anything because seems like everything is just becoming to much for me. I’ve got so much to do and i can’t clear my head. Which is why this post is all over the place. I’m just so tired.😞