OK so little back story first. My Daughter is 15weeks old and was born with a number of heart issues. She had a pacemaker (ICD) fitted and because she is very high risk of cardiac arrest we were given a defibrillator to take everywhere with us. She also has feeding problems so is fed continuously by a pump through a naso-jejunal tube. She is on various meds 4 x a day.

Now here's my problem (and stick with me because even I feel silly describing it as a problem). My Dad & Step mum and my MIL keep offering to babysit.

Since she got out of the hospital 3 weeks ago my MIL hasn't seen her at all and my Dad has only seen her twice for about an hour each time. This is despite the fact they all live at most half an hour away. None of them know how to give her her meds, how much, when what etc. None of them know how to deal with her feeding pump or make up her special feeds. Most importantly none of them know baby CPR or how to work her defibrillator.

I'm not sure how they would cope in an emergency. In fact, when my MIL was visiting in hospital and my little one had a bad dry retching episode which she does very often my MIL panicked, burst into tears and had to leave the room.

I wouldn't be comfortable just dropping her off and being like "she needs this med and this med at these times and here's a quick run through of her pump". I want to say no your not watching her because you have no idea how to care for your own granddaughter as you haven't been around enough but I don't want to ruffle feathers. They're all a bit like "we've looked after babies before" but they don't get that it's not the same.

How do i say to them you need to spend time actually learning about her as a baby specifically without coming across as rude or dramatic?