I just knew it

I’ve never been pregnant (before this) and I got positive tests and was 4 days late period wise. I was testing positive for almost a week, started off faint then got a little darker then went super super faint. I just knew it wasn’t happening for me even tho I had never been pregnant before and wasn’t fully aware how chemicals work.

The morning before I started bleeding I was laying in bed crying because I KNEW THIS WASNT IT. A part of me feels guilty and maybe responsible for somewhat knowing that this pregnancy wasn’t a proper one because I was just in shock the whole time. I was excited and happy too, I definitely want this to happen for me but am curious if anyone experienced something similar to my story ?

It’s been a swing of emotions for me, and I know it could be worse but it does make me feel so different about trying and being a woman. I felt like less of a woman and that I failed my husband. It’s just so scary wondering if this was a one off or if it’ll be something I’ll encounter again.

I’m so happy for my friends and family who are now pregnant but I feel like somehow they’re bodies are just better than mine in a weird way.... I’m seemingly healthy and so is my husband and it just is so scary to think what an emotional risk pregnancy can bring

My heart goes out to everyone who’s experienced this.