On a good night I can get about 3-4 hours of sleep. No matter how tired I am I can't just sleep on command (I gotta do a whole routine and then just lay there until it happens). So waking up 3 or more times during the night is a huge pain. Nap time can be anywhere from 25 minutes to 2 hours.

I'm so done with this developmental stage. I feel my supply (EBF) is taking a hit because I am at the point I pick sleep over water and food. Baby is just a hot mess during wake time, and takes 40++ minutes to get down for sleep.

I definitely don't even think about chores, I just need SLEEP. My head is constantly hurting, occasionally my body shakes, it sucks. My husband helps the time he is home (he's the only one working) and I depend on that 2 hours of help. Even more on his weekends.

I'm currently sick with some vicious cold. So getting ZERO rest is just icing on the cake 👌🏻

Anyways, for the next several weekends he will be hours away to be at HHN in Orlando with his family. This is his first weekend gone and I'm crying. I wish he didn't go, they've been doing this trip for 8 or 9 years now so I don't want to be the complainer ruining a tradition.

I'm barely keeping myself together watching our crabby 4 month old and our 7 year old, while also making sure the dog gets his bathroom walks 4 times a day (we have no yard) I know it's not a lot to complain about, I'm sure I would be complaining less if I didn't have this cold.

I feel bad I was irritated when he texted me he took off work 4 hours early to go to this thing. The last time he took time off for me or our family? I think last year or the year before that. (Not including holidays) so I felt even extra after he told me that. Last time I had a break or did anything just me? Probably 8 years ago. Comes with the mom title, but would it be nice still? Yeah. Did I talk to him about all of what I mentioned above? Yes.

I feel like I have more to let off my chest but I can't remember. Maybe after a 20 minute nap I'll remember 💀