Ladies ,

The hardest thing I had to do was coparent with a man that left me for no apparent reason to be with his coworker.

I’m honestly still very hurt while she laughed in my face about it ...

That same coworker that threw my own child in my face.

This same coworker that’s around my son 24/7 when I’m not there...

The same coworker that called me a bitch and so on and he allowed it.

The same coworker that told me to shut the fuck and move on....

It extremely hurts to realize how badly someone can treat you so badly for nothing.

And I hate him. I hate his guts.

But I love him so much. But I hate that he couldn’t just do better for me. Do better for our family but instead he rather try to play step daddy and try to add my son into it.

And he even tries to go back and forth between me and her. Tells me he loves me and misses me. But won’t bother to show me but to her instead.

After 4 years he left me for another woman. My first boyfriend and all.

So I decided to pack my things and my sons. To move away for a year or at least until school is finished . A fresh start, new people, New school, New job and around my dads family that I haven’t seen for 6 years. I went got solely custody of our son. His dad has visitation rights.

I FELT LIKE SHIT DOING THIS. Simply because I guess I was scared to let go. Scared of getting judged by his family and everyone else that pertains to him. but I knew I had so many great opportunities somewhere else new. Ive been trying to move forever now.

I stopped bashing him and blowing up his phone. I simply just said whatever ...

I felt bad. But I got tired of the drama the girl stalking my page. People telling me and sending me pictures of my son with her and her kid. Him basically trying to control me when he’s with someone. The name calling because I still have him on child support. I just got fed up and I saved up and moved away. I blocked him off of everything. The only time I speak to him is when I send him pictures and keep him updated on his son and every Friday around 3 for FaceTime with his son. I NEVER KEEP HIM AWAY.

Got tired of him trying to play mind games with me. Telling me he wants to be with me but just can’t.

So moving out of the state so far I’ve gotten back into nursing school. My pay is way higher the rent is way lower. I’m more focused. I’m not stressed out. I’m happier. I’ve meet wonderful people. Of course I’m still hurt. I think about it all the time.

After everything that has been done to me. It seems like it’s very hard for me to get close to another guy. A guy once told me I guess every guy that tries to love you and your son your just gonna push him away.

Ladies , I have never felt so worthless and lost in life at the age of 22. I just work & school & my child.its not even about him I simply don’t know what I’m doing here.