Postpartum Depression in Dad help?

Question

Ladies, since our twins have been born my husband has been withdrawn. He used to talk about how excited he was for them to arrive and now he wants nothing to do with them. He is irritable and snappy. He doesn’t have a bond with either baby and seems to just go through the motions when he does have to take care of them. A couple weeks ago he tried to express his feelings about how he felt like I didn’t care about him and he felt hurt, but I blew him off. All this time I was thinking he has been selfish and lazy. I felt like he didn’t care that I was stressed out and I always reminded him of that. The babies are 5weeks and our relationship already feels strained. Now I don’t believe I have postpartum depression, I think I’m just stressed in the “normal way”, twins aren’t easy! Lol but i had a light bulb moment. I’m pretty sure my husband has postpartum depression. I didn’t even know it was possible and I feel bad for neglecting his feelings all this time! 
Has anyone’s spouse went through this? How did you cope? 
Any tips on how to help him? I know he will NEVER go to a Dr for it (he would worry about the stigma)?

Answer

It can be really hard for men in the beginning, they go from being your sole focus, to your third or fourth priority, and they often don't know how to help, or take a while to bond with little babies. This can make it really hard on you, and on your relationship. 
If you need help, ask specifically and clearly, and to help with bonding - just spending fun time together.
But yes - he may also be depressed, so try and get him to seek help either through a doctor or the amazing online groups

Answer

My husband seems to be going through this stage now, our daughter is 2. He feels neglected by me and like last priority. I try my best to make him feel special when I can, a passing hug and kiss, and note of my love and appreciation, a special dessert or dinner made that he loves.

Answer

Postpartum depression is a hormonal issue so no he can’t have postpartum depression, but he can be depressed in general.  He probably just feels like he isn’t important anymore.  Maybe try to plan a date night and get a babysitter for the kids?  Or make him his favorite meal?  Do something special for him and tell him you are sorry that he feels neglected and that you are trying your best to juggle everyone’s needs.  He can’t be the center of your world right now because you have 2 babies that need you, but you can carve out an evening to remind him that you love and care about him.

Answer

He feels neglected even if he won’t admit it. He knows he’s no longer your first thought when it comes to things. You don’t wake up or going to sleep thinking of him. Everything you talk about probably starts with something about the kids. This is adjustment for him as well and that bond doesn’t always happen right away. Newborns are hard. They don’t smile or react back and trying to learn about this new little person is hard let alone two.

Postpartum Depression in Dad help?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey