Anxious

So on July 29th, this guy I was dating for a week at that point. Long story short I was at my friends house and he slept there too. Us three got really drunk and went swimming and took a shower together. Later on we played truth or dare and my friend ended up sucking his dick (I said it was fine just that one time— I have no idea why I agreed to it) he came and him and I just went and cuddled on the couch he got on top of me and started making out with me. He started grinding on me and at that point I was super turned on so he put just the tip in and I said it was fine and it felt really good so I asked my friend to leave and she did. We ended up fucking and he pulled out. He was my first. We ended up fucking another 9 times after that on separate days. (We haven’t even been together for a month) I ended up breaking up with him because I felt that he just wanted his dick in me or my mouth... he was heart broken. He ended up overdosing and going into a coma for 3 days. He blamed it on me. So many people hate me now. The friend I was with that night now hates me and so do all her friends. He got back from the hospital and ended up staying at my friends house again. (My friends house is right by mine). my ex snuck out to another girls house that lives in my town and long story short he ended up raping her (that’s what she claims) idk I feel scared and anxious because I lost my virginity to him. I wish it never happened. What do I do to accept that it happened and get over it?