Am I wrong for wanting to leave? *please help*

Question

Hi 
I would like some honest help.
I’m 32 his 33 Married 2011 together from 2006 no kids I have pcos so been trying but on our first month of assisted trying anyyyyywayy I was abroad for just over 4 months and since I have got back with my husband I’m feeling a strong disconnect emotionally and physically and I don’t know if it just over or a bad patch but to be honest I think I’m ready to leave just wanted to know if anybody else has gone through similar stuff maybe offer some advice
Basically his is not initiating anything remotely sexual or even physical a peck on the lips when his going out and before bed NOTHING ELSE 
I have to ask him to have sex and even then no passion no spark nothing just lifeless sex 90% of the time I’m pretending I enjoy because I love him and don’t want to feel insecure or anything but I have told him a few times that I faked it and I didn’t enjoy it 
Then BANG now when we do have sex he can’t stay hard I’m doing everything and it’s just like beating a dead horse which has never happened before but it’s happening basically everytime now 
BUT he watches porn stays hard for porn wakes up with erections and jumps out of the bed gives me my morning peck then NOTHING 
I’m getting really insecure AND IM FEELING REALLY UNLOVED AND UNATTRACTIVE 
But listen to this sorry I’m all over the place it’s like a rant  
I get dressed up in lingerie stocking the works and nothing he comes in gives me a peck eats his dinner put on a film for us to watch I FELT SOOOO STUPID DRESSED UP AND NOTHING 
I took it off and I got angry coz we have had this conversation he reassured me it’s not me and said I was “moving shy I should have approached him to set the mood “ and we can try again the next day dinner and then come home and do it that never happened 
Tried to have sex last night after I brought it up that I was pissed off that I hadn’t got any attention and 4 mins in man downnnnn said we will try again in a few hours never happens then today I caught him wanking am I wrong for just wanting to leave and explore with fun and passion I’m bored sexually extremely unsatisfied I think of cheating more and more just so we can keep the marriage but I don’t want to be the person 
I have a high sex drive but I’m more then willing to compromise I’m into everything I feel like he is not attracted to me and he doesn’t know how to say it what do I do I’m going abroad again for a few months I highly doubt I’m going to be faithful if I don’t feel loved in this marriage

Answer

Id try marriage counselling first if i were you

Answer

I mean. The question you have to ask yourself is are you actually committed to your partner and your marriage..?
If not, then just leave and don't get married again until you actually understand what commitment means. 
Marriage is hard. We all go through rough patches where we are unhappy with the status of our relationship.  That's just part of 2 people being together a long time. You have to be committed to working past those times to make a marriage successful. 
If you're not committed to working through the tough times why even get married in the first place?
I suggest starting with some individual counseling then couples counseling.  Maybe both for a while. You guys need to learn to be a team, but it also sounds like you need to work on being a little less emotionally dependent on him.
Good luck whatever you do.

Answer

If you’re considering Cheating-leave.

Answer

tell it to him straight 🤷‍♀️ get a counselor too while your at it. Whatever you do do NOT cheat on him you might as well divorce

Answer

I dont normal say this.. but u sound like a fun adventurous person who just wants to get out of a boring marriage.. he could be depressed.. or it might be that he is pleasuring himself too much.. the question is.. why wont he have the same with u? Hes feeling a disconnect with u.. just like u are with him.. have a serious and frank talk.. have a separation.. come back after the 4 months and see how u both feel.. he may fight for u.. or not.

Answer

Ladies I really appreciate all these comments and at times I feel really selfish he has said that he is depressed and I did try to work with him
And try not to take it so personally but it’s hard when I want to be hugged and showed affection and I feel invisible I get upset and I’ve have never been a cheater but I am finding it very difficult to understand why he is aware of me feeling neglected and gets horny but would rather watch porn then acknowledge me it just makes me feel extremely smalll and like I said ugly I feel like he must be getting sex from somewhere is not me. 
Can someone really be so cold towards someone they love? 
It’s creating issues and making me resent him I’m have stuck by here through ALOT  of extremely hard and tough situations but his always made me feel safe and loved but going through a tough situation and the not feeling loved is really that’s and belittling

Answer

Porn changes the way guys brains work and can cause sexual distinction.
Let him know how much this means to you. If he loves and respects you, he will shape up and try his best.

Answer

I understand things get dry sometimes and there is nothing stopping you from walking out the door. However if you still care about him make sure there is nothing else going on like major depression or a medical issue. It might be hard and he may resist at first but an open mind and kind attitude could really be what he needs to work out whatever issues could be going on

Am I wrong for wanting to leave? please help

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