Yesterday was our one year anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t remember, but honestly I would have been shocked if he did. We’re a highly sexual/kinky couple, so I surprised him (and myself honestly) by coming out of my shell and being the one to initiate things for once. I dressed up perfectly, wrote “property of [his name] since 9/18/18” over my abdomen, and even bound my wrists with these nice, pink leather cuffs and chains to link them. It was great and he made an effort to make me feel good before even having sex. We’ve been stressed with me having to go home soon since I’m visiting him overseas and my visa didn’t come through so we have to try again. But lately everything makes me feel so worthless. It’s been a year, and he still doesn’t love me. He says he doesn’t want to say it in case he doesn’t mean it and I get hurt, but obviously that means he doesn’t think he means it. Which hurts anyway. Especially because I always imagined that you should have a pretty good idea if you love someone after a full year... I know I love him. No one has ever loved me. Or at least said they did, true or not. No boyfriend, friend, or even my ex husband said it to me. Once. My family only says it when other people are around so they don’t look bad. I just lost my dog and I’m so depressed, my self worth is at an all time low. I have no friends, no family. Just a boyfriend who uses me more like a pillow to waste time with because otherwise he’d be bored and lonely. I don’t know what to do anymore, I cry constantly.