I have a hard time talking to anybody about this because i feel like people just think i’m looking for pity, lying, thinking i want attention etc but i just want to know if you all would call this situation rape. So this was a few years back but it’s still weighing heavy on my heart. I was 17 at the time and we have gotten out of high school early and me and this guy that had texted a few times before but i didn’t want a relationship went with 2 other of his guy friends which i was mutual friends with as well to a part of the woods where we hung out and smoked. I was so high I couldn’t even sit up but they kept pushing the weed on me saying do it, you got this, just putting me in a very uncomfortable situation and my anxiety was already high let alone me not being fully aware of the situation. i had little understanding of what was going on around me. i could tell they were all texting each other because they’d look up at me with some look as what i would call evil then back down on the phone. Well 2 mutual friends was like “We’re going to go to the gas station real quick.” I kinda figured it out at that point. So guy that was left started hinting around at trying to have sex and i said i wasn’t comfortable. I used every excuse. We were next to the road, what if my mom called, i wasn’t comfortable i just didn’t wanna do it, mind you i was so high i could barely keep my feet under me. I was not an avid weed smoker at the time. He ignored me and started grabbing my hand and basically pulling me back away from the road into the woods as i kept saying i’m uncomfortable and don’t want to do it. So finally when we are off in a little corner he starts touching all over me and i can just feel myself getting sick and achy and anxious beyond belief. but it still felt like i was in a movie unconscious and not aware of surroundings. so he starts trying to unbutton my shorts and i keep saying please no and he kept on going. He tried to lay down on the ground and make me get on top. I said I didn’t want to. So he grabbed me and bent me over and (thank god) put a condom on and started going. i can just remember looking at the sky with tears in my eyes trying to forget what was happening. i finally came to at a point and said please stop he said i’m done at this point i was upset he had came inside of me, condom or not. I immediately grabbed my shorts and threw them back on and kept begging for an answer as to why he thought it was okay. finally one of the worst moments of my life ended. i remember walking back to the car in such shame but i can’t even remember what happened after that it was all such a blur. my heart is so heavy and i don’t wanna call myself a victim because i don’t want that in my head but i can’t continue not seeing somebody else’s side to the story.