My boyfriend & I had been together for 10 years when he finally said we should start trying for a baby in July (This was around May 2019) & I was THRILLED! 😍😍

June 30th, we tried. 🥰

We then went on a 4th of July vacation till the 7th & had the best time. I have an 11 year old daughter that he treats like his own (they’re little besties) so it was the best family vacay. & he proposed on this trip. BEST. VACAY. EVER.

On July 10th I took a pregnancy test & it came up positive. Holy smokes. That was quick.

When I told him, he was happy, loving, wouldn’t stop hugging me and asking if I was pulling his leg.

Then little things started happening. It started with him falling asleep in the living room instead of coming to bed. He works nights, I work days. Then it progressed to asking me if I could stay at my place during the week so he could do things around the house when he gets off work without waking me up.

We had our first appt & ultrasound August 2nd. We got to hear our miracle’s heartbeat & all.

Such joy in that appointment. Then downhill immediately after.

He started wanting “free time” on the weekends, didn’t want me to stay & on some weekends, wouldn’t bother coming home. He works about 2 hours away so sometimes he’d crash at his buddy’s when they have overtime but he just didn’t come home at all on the weekends.

It’s been 2 months. I’m 15 weeks pregnant today. Have seen him a handful of time and I broke up with him. He said he would come around and change once o got “further along” but he’s still on his bullshit.

I have cut down all communications to being about the baby only. We go to find out the gender on Oct 1st & I’m PRAYING that knowing the gender will reignite my excitement.

I was so happy at first but that was before my world was turned upside down. I feel so guilty for not having much joy in my pregnancy but I never wanted to be a single mom, much less a single mom of 2. Seeing other people’s pregnancy announcements & happy family photos fills me with such resentment & I hate that. 😔😔

No advice needed, I just wanted to vent and maybe see if anyone is going through this too. 😭😭