Recent Miscarriage No sex drive

So... I recently had a miscarriage and my emotions have been everywhere. I sometimes masturbate because I want to feel something good in my life.... However I'm not able to have sex with my boyfriend.... All that goes through my head is I'll get pregnant and lose my baby all over again and go even deeper into depression. Has anyone ever had there sex drive killed, but only with having sex with an actual partner. I can do it by myself but I get anxiety when it comes to my partner. Is this normal?