Today is the 20th day since my medical abortion. I am fatigued, both physically and mentally. I feel the need for support. Here's about me and my decison:

I am in my early twenties, in a monogamous relationship for only about 4 years. Our relationship had started unsteady, but we were starting to grow strong. We were very sexually active, but were careless. We did not use any method of protection or birth control, relied on the pull out method. Earlier in the year, we had discussed our opinions on having children. He told me that he had always wanted to have his first child before 30, which is his age next year. Of course he was upset for a little while when finding that I was not ready for my first child, but my reasons were sound. Both of us still live with each others' respective biological families and we are not financially stable.

I learned I became pregnant during a medical background check with the two year school I had just started. I had quit my full time job to start school again to further myself and knock out financial instability from the list of things keeping me from being ready for a baby. Needless to say, the timing of this pregnancy was no good for me. When I told my partner, he respectfully took me to my appointments for my abortion. Once it was done, he shut me out for a while - he has poor coping skills. Eventually he told me that he thought this whole ordeal was bullshit and did not like that I needed to resort to abortion. It is difficult to cope for the both of us, I'd grown attached to the thing I incubated for 7 and a half weeks.

I don't regret the procedure, we were not ready, but I do regret not being careful in bed. Our relationship is having difficulty healing from this. He says he still supports me, but ignores when I talk to him about it and my post procedure health.

Physically, I am still bleeding. The clinic told me that it is normal to bleed for up to 6 weeks post medical abortion. I am not cramping currently, but do consider myself bleeding heavy. I sometimes become weak with sore legs. For the first two weeks I used my regular menstrual cup for catching blood. Now my vaginal walls are sore from it, so I switched to just pads. It's like a nightmare period that never ends. Every now and then, golf ball sized clots come out. When will the bleeding stop?

Overall, I am stressed, but am finally fully accepting that this procedure was the right choice for me. For a while I felt guilt. I am terrified at the amount of blood I am still losing. I do not personally know anyone who has gone through this and do not have the support I hope to gain here.