PP Depression?

Question

I thought I was okay but all day today I’ve been crying in and off. There isn’t any real reason it just happens. Or I’ll think about how much has changed and start to cry... 
I had pp depression with my now six year old but I thought maybe it was because I was only 19 when I had her.  I never did anything for it just kind of got through it... Doctors and people talked to me about it in the hospital but I felt fine then like maybe I wouldn’t have this issue but now I’m wondering if maybe I do. I’m also wondering if maybe I’m just overwhelmed because my six day old won’t sleep or be happy unless she’s on my boob and it is very exhausting and I can’t get anything done. I’m contemplating just pumping or using formula but I feel like I will Be extremely judged by my boyfriends family. I’m literally crying as I’m writing this.... in the dark trying to hide my crying from my boyfriend cause I don’t want him to be concerned. 
Urhhh idk :( I’m so happy to have my daughter and we planned to have her but I just am so sad at the same time. He goes back to work Monday so maybe that’s partly why I’m sad idk :(

Answer

Girl I was in the same boat. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. Unfortunately I couldn’t bc my girl wouldn’t latch. I’m telling you pumping has saved me peace of mind. It’s YOUR body, YOUR baby. You are the one dealing with everything. Definitely talk to your man, be honest and open about what you need. You got this momma.

Answer

Honestly at this point it sounds more like the baby blues. It’s the hormones and almost all of us wind up in tears over seemingly nothing for a week or two pp. PP depression is a little different, it’s less about feeling emotional and more about feeling disconnected...from friends, family, your baby etc. 
I think if you just be gentle with yourself for a bit and try to remember your body just went through the ringer, you will probably be okay. If you start feeling worse though definitely talk with a health care provider :)

Answer

I’m on the same boat, I feel soo bad since I have 2 older boys I can’t do nothing with them and my 4 year old was crying to me today and I just started to cry with him. My husband is gone for work from 6 am to like 7 pm so I’m home with my new born all day long since my 2 boys go to school now and I feel like I’m going crazy but I just keep reminding myself that it won’t always be like this. 😔

Answer

You said you have an older child, so you already know what it is like to be judged as a mom. No matter what you do, someone will judge you for something. So there is no reason to change for others. If pumping or using formula is what you need to do then you do it. I'll tell you the same thing I tell my preteen when talking about peer pressure or bullying: "fuck em." 
Seriously, if someone isn't going to live your life for you, breastfeed for you, raise your child for you then they don't get a say. Period. If they can't keep the judgment to themselves then establish boundaries and they'll see the consequences of their actions when their time with grand baby is diminished. If your boyfriend can't be on your team and support you against his family then you'll have to deal with that as well unfortunately.
As far as PPD, generally in the beginning like this it is called baby blues and can be from lack of sleep, the giant hormonal fluctuations that are happening, and all the normal and overwhelming things that are happening. That said, you should talk to your provider. If anything so they can keep an eye on it because it can become a Perinatal mood disorder: depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, bipolar to name a few. 
Your provider might give you estrogen to help with the mood swings. The sudden drop of estrogen after birth can cause a lot of emotional turmoil. They might suggest you schedule with a therapist just to get established with the care and prevent anything progressing. They may even suggest starting an SSRI for the same reasons as therapy, prevention. 
Check out the blue dot project on FB.

PP Depression?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey