Long post possible trigger warning 😢

This is a long post I apologize before hand. I will try and answer to every comment if any, I am a ftm and I’ve been dealing with so much stuff. Sometimes I feel like the only reason I even wake up in the morning is because of my daughter. I come from a very toxic family, and my boyfriends family is also toxic but have been more supportive than ever. I have distanced myself so much from everyone that I basically sh*t post on Facebook all day. & some of the things I share aren’t inappropriate but to my family it’s “offensive” I get messages like “you wouldn’t feel alone if you would come around, It’s not our fault you choose to be miserable, you’re the one who doesn’t wanna be around us”. A little backstory I haven’t lived at home since I was 18 I moved out, I was molested by my uncle, did my family care? No they blamed me for coming on to him?? I was 7 years old it happened up until i was 14. I met my bd, we started dating and my uncle would make comments like “those are my boobs, that p*ssy belongs to me, I had you first” disgusting. I couldn’t wait to move out and not have to deal with that sh*t. I move out I don’t even go to my moms because my grandma hates me she hurt me she would let my uncle molest me and act like it wasn’t happening she would see tears in my eyes and look away she would ask if he needed towels anything to clean up and would hit me if I told my mom. I did but my grandma would always say I was lying cause she would watch us. When I turned 19 I got pregnant a few months before my 20th birthday all she ever did was wish my daughter would die or choke on her umbilical cord, she would see me anywhere and just wish I would loose the baby. I’ve had so much anxiety and depression and I feel like it’s triggered more now that she tries to talk to me like we’re on good terms, she tells people she watches my daughter all the time when she hasn’t seen my daughter since she was born. She “apologized” but all she wanted was to see who my daughter looked like, she was convinced I had an affair with my cousins fiancée (never happened, never did that never would I) she saw my daughter was a spitting image of her dad and went back to treating me like crap, my daughter was 3 m old when I went to my moms house and she told me she wished she would of just died, during the c section, she would of been cut or just left there to die.. now my grandma is turning 74, it’s a big deal for everyone in the family to have all her grandchildren and great grandkids there to celebrate her, and when I declined the invite they took it the wrong way? Somehow I am in the wrong for not wanting to be there and not wanting my daughter to be a part of that, everyone said I’m being selfish and that who knows how much longer she’ll be alive for. I guess I’m asking for opinions on why I should or shouldn’t be a part of that. I know deep down I feel nothing for her because of all the hurt she’s done to me, but am I terrible for not wanting my 15 m old to be there either.