I’ll start off by saying that in my marriage porn is not accepted. My husband and I came to an agreement that neither of us would watch it because of how it made each other feel. We’ve been married for 4 years and every 6 months or so I find out my husband has been looking st open behind my back, trying to hide it and promises to never do it again. Just yesterday I found him looking again, Alaura Lea I believe her name is and it completely ruined my self confidence and trust once again. I am not small chested, 38 DD, so find out he has been watching someone with an insanely large chest makes me feel so inadequate. I don’t understand the need to beat off to another women if I am there every single day willing and ready to have sex with him and I make it known to him. I freaked out and he promised once again not to look at anything but I can’t trust him. I feel like I will never be what he wants. We have 2 toddlers and I’m a SAHM, I could watch porn if I wanted but I’ve never broken that promise to him because I have respect for the agreement we made years ago. I love him except for this and want to make things work but I’m completely ruined right now.