So my husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years. During this time his mother has been the most hateful person to me. She has called me names in front of the family and ultimately made my life hell. When hubs got a new job we moved 900 miles away. I thought life would be different but instead it has continued just the same. She practically controls every aspect of his life, even telling us that we can not have any more children. To me this is way overstepping her boundaries but hubs doesnt see it that way. Anyways on a recent visit home while hubs was at work she got severely pissed off at me because the day I was supposed to go see her my toddler got very I'll and was running a fever. I asked her the next day if she wanted to go to dinner and she refused saying she didnt feel like getting out. Since she wasnt up to it I went out with my mom, which pissed her off even more. When i got back home and hubs was off he was talking to her one day and she proceeded to tell him how much of a bitch i was for keeping her grandbaby from her during my visit. Mind you i attempted to see her AND i didnt have my own vehicle since I flew home. Just this last week she called my husbands aunt and told her that I lied to my husband about an agreement that we made with his sister. When I asked him if he told her that he just defended her saying that she must have misunderstood him for what he actually said. I told him she is attempting to drive a wedge between us but he doesnt see it that way. Any time she has ever called me a name he just sits there and let's it happen. He has never once defended me when she is involved. At this point I'm almost ready to say enough is enough after almost 4 years of torture. I plan to give him an ultimatum when he is home from work (he is gone for 20 days at a time) and basically tell him he can either start standing up for me and our child or he can loose the both of us. I just dont know what to do with it anymore and dont know if I want to continue to fight for someone who wont fight for me.

Also if I try and talk to him about anything like this he brushes it off like I'm being dramatic. I tried to tell him I was depressed and unhappy and he just looked at me like I was speaking in a foreign language.

Updated: Thank you ladies for all the responses. It just proves to me that I was not over reacting about any of it. I gave him the choice and he says he picks me but still hasn't shown any action on this. At this point I feel like I am emotionally checked out of our marriage and feel like even if he says he has chosen me that it may be time to call it quits before our daughter is old enough to remember or know what's going on. Again I thank you for your advice and if you have any more please keep sending it my way!