Warning: this is a brutally honest post that may offend some.

I am a direct support professional and that essentially means that I help to support people with developmental disabilities in their daily lives medically and socially. Because I am around people with disabilities all day, I have a fear of my baby having any form of disability because I am consistently witnessing the ins and outs of what it is to struggle with these issues for those who have them as well as the struggles that their family members undergo due to these issues.

This is my first child so I naturally have a lot of fear about the wellbeing of my unborn child but I am additionally scared about my baby having one of these issues. I had a doctors appointment today and I told my doctor about my concerns for the theoretical possibility of having a child with developmental disabilities or any kind of defects.. that may seem horrible but it’s my truth so please don’t judge it. I am looking for support here, not criticism. The doctor told me that I can do early genetic screening but it will cost an arm and a leg due to insurance companies rarely covering any part of this.

Does anyone here have experience having these kind of fears? What did you do about these fears? I don’t want to put my child through a life of disability and hardship.. judge it or don’t but if you do, don’t bother commenting because that’s not what I need or will appreciate in any way right now. I really want my child to have every advantage and ability to succeed in every way that they see fit and I’m not saying that people with disabilities don’t have this ability, but it comes with extensive hardship and I know this because I help with these hardships for people who struggle with these issues everyday.

How do I settle these fears? How do I have confidence that my baby is healthy and growing exactly how they should? I want to have faith in my body that it is creating a physically and mentally fit baby and I don’t want to focus on this fear at all as it is scary, draining and unhealthy for me to constantly be stressing about throughout pregnancy? A standard ultrasound will pick up defects around 20 weeks, but that feels like a very long time to wait 😞. Thanks to anyone who can offer KIND support for this concern..