( I'm sorry this is do long)

So this guy I have been friends with for about a year and a half, I caught feeling about a year ago and I have kept it to myself. This isnt a everyday crush I have never wanted to be with anybody more (not just physically) and I have been sitting on this for about a year only 2 friends know and they found out within the last months we haven't really gotten to see each other for about 5 months and the last time I saw him he held me in a hug for about a minute because before that I hadn't seen him for 3 months. Of course me having this major crush on him it made my heart stop. Then homecoming came around and I was going with some friends, well i knew he was coming with one of his friends and that both said "we are just friends) and at the dance I was sitting down and he came up behind me and hugged me. I dont know about you but a hug from behind isn't a normal thing for friends to do, so I texted a few of my friends without telling them his name I asked if that was normal or was I trying to make this into something. Well 3 or 4 days go by and I really want to talk to him so I text him and he leave me on read. I sent him a snap and he answered of course your girl is over the moon, and we had a little bit of a conversation at the same time I'm text my friends because my anxiety is through the roof at this point. We go back and forth just talking and I decided that I was going to tell him that I have liked him for over a year, when he answered he said "No for right now because I'm talking to (the girl he went to homecoming with) and he had never thought about us more than friends before" I didn't feel as horrible as I thought I would I answer and then he comes at me with "Thank you for telling me and I'm hoping in knowing this can strengthen our friendship" my heart melts again. And that's the story of when I actually try and get the guy and fail.