My fiance and I have been together over 5 years and have a very healthy sex life, especially now that we have been TTC this past year. And I love that he is still obsessed with me, don't get me wrong. But his sex drive can be a little much sometimes. Like seriously, he can go to bed before me and be dead asleep and as soon as he hears/feels me crawl into bed from washing my face, he is all over me, trying to take my pajamas off in 2 seconds. Like the dude is always ready to go. And sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Tonight in particular, I had worked a long, hard shift, gotten off late, we have house guests in town just down the hall, and my face is super broken out because AF is coming next week, so did I mention I was crawling into bed with zit cream dotting my face? I DON'T feel sexy right now and I'm not trying to make a bunch of noise. Not that any of these things need to be brought up because I'm the owner of this vagina and I don't have to give a reason other than I don't consent!!! I want to teach my future daughters that their bodies are theirs.

So he was putting on his regular moves and I told him flat out that I just wanted to relax and go to bed tonight. He sad ok and asked if he could just tickle my back while I dozed off. I said yes. But then I start feeling the mattress move a little and notice he's breathing heavily. I asked him kind of jokingly if he was jacking off and he said he wasn't and than quickly admitted that he was. I didn't know how to feel. We aren't prudes. We have masterbated in front of each other before in the bedroom but only as part of a sex act in which we were both very much into it. And I'm not one of those chicks who gets jealous, knowing he does it privately. I think it's healthy.

It just felt wrong. It made me uncomfortable in a way I had a hard time articulating to him. I asked him to stop touching my back because I felt like he was using me as a prop which defeats the purpose of me telling him my body was off limits tonight. He agreed but than it was almost more weird, him just laying in the dark having what felt like a very private, personal, sexual act in our bed without me. I could hear and feel him going at it. Not wanting to completely take the wind out of his sails so to speak, I finally told him to stop and agreed to have sex with him because the alternative was too fucking awkward. But then now I'm having sex when I don't want to and feel like my hand was forced. Afterward, I told him how uncomfortable he made me and that I would have rather him watched porn in the bathroom and taken care of it than what he did. Am I wrong? Is this normal ladies? Do all men pull this crap and I just don't know what is normal?

I wished I had not broken down and offered sex. I feel icky. Like a fucking cum bucket. Like nothing more than a receptacle to hold the aftermath of his pleasure whenever he wants it and not the mother of his future children. We are a very close couple and we have no secrets so I tried to express this all to him. I think he really tried to understand and said it would never happen again. But I asked to be allowed to just sleep tonight and here I am, anxious, unable to sleep, and typing away on glow while he sleeps like a goddamn baby. 😖😕