I’m over it ... but I’m Not over it. Every day of this month has been flash backs of the things i had to go through, the things i had to see, the heart breaking emotions i had to feel, everything makes me cry as if it was the first moment of me finding out it still hurts as if it happened yesterday. A year later my husband is empathetic & promises to never make me feel that pain again but his promise doesn’t matter when it randomly haunts me at any time or any day and i still feel it . We never got a chance to do counseling never got a chance to really heal from things. There was changed behavior yes, there were apologies made with effort yes. It’s like no matter how much time goes on i can’t erase the messages I read that day out of my memory . I can’t forget the he timing of it all . It literally started 2-3 weeks after we said our vows . How can one forget that ? He told another woman he loved her. “I love you” “ i wish you were here instead of her” “we should get a hotel room, if we did what would happen?” “I would never hurt you or put you in a situation you didn’t need to be in” “My daughter is just as beautiful as you are” and his reason for all of this was because i kicked him out and he needed money , he used her for money . Yes i know i shouldn’t have put him out for a night or two , too many times for his liking but i had good reasons to tell him to go and what he did should’ve never happened , this shit is still a nightmare for me , idk how to forget :(