Dear husband,

I wish I could say this to you for real. I have tried subtly but I know you don’t really care. I just found out you cheated and we decided to work on it. But I am scared. We go day in and day out acting like nothing is wrong but while you are at work I am scared you are talking to them because that’s what you did before. Especially when you don’t text me. I am scared to go to sleep because you would stay up late talking to them. I cry all day everyday while you are gone and I stay home with the kids because I can’t function without having flashes of the messages in my head. I dry it up and pretend like everything is ok when you get home because that’s what we have been doing. We are supposed to go to therapy but offices wont call me back. I am struggling. I want out. I want to be done. I want to give up because I am hurt. I am hurt deeply. But I know I have to try. For our kids. But more than anything, I want a divorce. I want to find someone who will treat me better than how you have treated me for many years. I don’t want to love you anymore. I want to be free.