Guilt??

Question

Anyone else feeling guilty for not being as available to your new baby because you also have a toddler? When my toddler was a baby I was free to hold her and let her nurse and nap on me the entire day. She always slept on me and I hardly ever put her down. With my second baby, she is doing an amazing job of sleeping in her room for naps but I feel so guilty that I don’t hold her as much as my first born. She is an amazing sleeper and will take 3-4 hour naps in her room and is so happy when she is awake, I just am having anxiety about it. When she is awake I make sure to hold her and love on her but she is only awake for an hour at a time before she’s ready for her next nap. Anyone else in the same boat?
Also, sorry this is so long! Lol needed to vent apparently 💖

Answer

Yes! I feel guilty both ways, guilty that my new little girl does not get nearly the same amount of attention my son did! And guilty my son now has to share my attention and time, he has days when he really struggles (especially now that he is sick)

Answer

I have waves here and there... then I realize the babe enjoys the busy of it all. She can sleep through monsters and trucks that have super powers and slamming blocks, just because. She can’t ever be bored lol the craziness of a toddler ought to keep anyone new interested lol
I take time at nap or once the my toddler is in bed to talk to her and play with toys above her head and all that interaction.

Answer

Yes110%!! My big boy is 3 in December and I’ve been struggling. I’m a single mom so it’s JUST me and I’ve been having a hard time finding the balance. I try to snuggle my babe whenever my toddler is occupied, but my toddler has been SUPER testy which I know is normal but seriously nothing is working for him and I’m finding myself with like a deep pitted rage that has no outlet so I internalize and I have a way short fuse with him whereas before the baby I was really patient. I feel like it’s partially postpartum hormones combined with stress of coparenting a newborn and the dad already trying to involve his gf who he has shared with me is extremely toxic and my sons behavior is just the age he’s getting to. I feel more guilty for being shorter with my toddler and less intentional with our time together and also just that I don’t have the Patience to let him just be a friggin kid most days. Then I feel guilty for having to discipline him sternly with my baby in hand or near. I hate it. I feel like I’m screwing if all up, having a hard time bonding with the new baby, completely sabotaging the connection my first son and I had before and just Urgh not doing so hot. I am trying though..to just slow down and breathe and choose my battles but our biggest issue is him running off and thats not a battle I can’t let fly so that’s killing me slowly. Trying to remember it’s a huge and confusing adjustment for him too.. with his dad never being in the picture to now the new baby’s dad coming for parenting time(I sound like a real gem when I’m unable to explain the entirety of my situation but oh well it is what it is). But anyhoo, all that to say you’re not alone and I’d say If your newborn is happy and sleeping well and feels safe enough to be sleeping alone I would say you are more than enough meeting your  babes needs and she feels comfortable and safe when you’re not able to be hands on. Some babies are just more content with less comforting if that makes sense. For example i was always a baby that likes to sleep on my own and I’m a super independent person so that was just hardwired.

Guilt??

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