Sex is different now

Me and my boyfriend haven’t been doing good at all lately. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and we ended up trying to do the do last night. I figured it would help us reconnect ( I know there’s SO MANY other ways to but being its more personal that way)

We start to do it and instantly I find myself trying to just let it happen and hope that it gets better. I felt loose. Like it literally didn’t feel normal. I tell him to stop and that I don’t want to do it, he did. And he asked what was wrong, I told him it didn’t feel the same. He said “honestly, I think you might be dilated more. But it was great for me. We can try again”

But after that i cried because I’m just scared of it all, and I’m not ready. I felt like i completely failed and that I couldn’t make him happy physically in the way. I found porn on his phone a couple days ago, and that doesn’t bother me but I’m obviously not doing my part in that field.

My dr told me a couple days ago I was at 1, but I felt like I was getting weird down there for the past day or so. I was having really close contractions and everything. I just feel like I’ve let him down and unstable. I want to feel close to him. I just don’t know, I’m kind of embarrassed.:/