Why am I absolutely INSANE around ovulation?

Hey all, hoping I can find some answers here or atleast some info to point me in the right direction.

I've recently begun to realize that every month in the days leading up to and/or during my fertile window, I completely spiral emotionally. It's when I feel most disconnected, when blow out fights happen with my boyfriend, and when I feel a general and overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dissatisfaction with life. I start to experience suicidal ideation and feel like I'm drowning and don't know how to cope with any of the issues in my life.

Then a few days go by and I'm like a different person.

I've never heard of this happening during ovulation. Idk if it's some sort of hormonal imbalance or if this is what PMDD is and am desperate for some explanation as to what the hell might be wrong with me.

I've tried the pill in the past and had to stop taking it because it made me feel like I was crazy during the week or so leading up to my period. But I'm not currently on birth control and feel like I'm experiencing the same thing to a somewhat different extent.