Okay, so I’m queer (pan and demi, plus a few other things) but until recently I assumed I was cis all the way. I am a woman and fine with my woman’s body and I present neutral or very femme.

However, I always had discomfort with certain expectations that come from being female in the eyes of society that aren’t just about being a feminist, specifically how ridged the masculine traits/feminine traits barrier is. I am pretty soft and sweet, but I can fight with the rest. I like logic and emotion. I am loving and domestic sometimes, sometimes I want to have full independence and go on swashbuckling adventures. Etc. This is pretty normal I would think.

A couple months ago, I discovered that drag kings were a thing and while drag is by nature exaggerated, it clicked with me. I started to wonder what it would be like to sometimes...present as a guy. Just with everyday things, like going to the store or to class.

More recently, I made a non-binary friend who presents in a similar way to me. As well as the way they are just awesome, their ideas about gender and the way they carry themselves is really familiar and freeing, I guess. While I like my body and ‘feminine’ stuff and traits, HAVING to be that way all the time is uncomfortable. I want to feel able to express myself fully.

Am I just more uncomfortable with the gender idea or am I maybe not...always a girl? Just a girl? This is unknown territory here. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to talk.