So I’ve never talked about this and figure it would be nice to finally talk about it... when I was 13 years old (almost 14) I lost my virginity. I was with a guy named, let’s say Brian (not his real name). Brian and I were together for 2 years almost 3, now I know that doesn’t seem like long, but tbh when you’re transitioning from a little girl to a teenager it feel like eternity... Brian was 16 turning 17 at the time it happened. One day, on October 28th, 2016, he forced himself inside me while we were spooning on a couch. I tried to push him off and told him to stop but he just continued and pulled me into him. My mom was outside so he didn’t finish. It didn’t hurt tbh, like at all, which I was surprised but I didn’t bleed or anything. However, I felt like I needed to keep letting him do whatever he wanted to me to keep him around and interested so for 2 years... I let him do whatever. I told him I wanted to wait till I was older and knew for sure I wanted to lose it. However, I don’t regret having sex even though it was forced. In my 13 year old mind... I loved him with my whole heart. I didn’t lose it to someone on the street or a random stranger, not that I’m judging anyone who has done that I’m just saying personally, my virginity was so special to me. I cherished it and wanted to keep it for someone I spent the rest of my life with. Brian wasn’t a very good partner. He came from an abusive family so that projected onto me a lot of the time.... and it didn’t start until I was about 16 (my age now). Brain was a very fucked up, toxic person and I regret ever letting him continuously control and hurt me so deeply for 2 years. I broke up with Brian December 12 and found out he was with another girl since November 11th, and our anniversary was November 23rd. I guess moral of the sorry here... is ladies, don’t let a man do the things a boy did to me. I wish everyday I could go back in time and do it all so differently. Brian should’ve known better than to do the things he did to me. He was older, more experienced and knew I didn’t want to do it.