Postpartum depression

Is it normal for you to feel so happy and on top of the world for the first few weeks of life with a baby.. Which is the times the midwives come visit and ask how you are feeling. Yet, I’m now 11 weeks postpartum and feel like I’ve hit a brick wall. I feel like I’ve slowly been getting more and more depressed with the whole colic phase, being screamed at all the time, being a FTM and not knowing wtf is going on, doing every single night feed since day one and just when I thought my baby was finally better from crying at night, she goes to screaming all day 😭 I really don’t know what to do and I feel so lonely and down. I look like shit and feel like shit. And this is the time that no one thinks about your mental state. It’s all about “how’s baby” never, how are you coping.