Please help

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Last night, upon the arrival of his friends that have been on base for months, they decided to throw a huge party. I never drink. It gives me anxiety as alcohol has done nothing but ruin things for my loved ones, plus, I never understood the point to it. My boyfriend knows that I get terrible anxiety in situations like parties and I contemplated coming or not but I decided to go because I felt that I’d be letting my boyfriend down because I’m constantly avoiding social events. Some more people started arriving and my anxiety was so bad I started drinking. I continuously drank until I was so drunk I don’t even remember what happened. It’s so not like me, I’ve never been “drunk”. All I did was tell everyone how meaningful they were and how much I loved everyone and started talking about my mental health and stigmas and literally poured my entire life story out to strangers to “make them feel okay if they’re going through things”. I guess I said things that definitely crossed lines, as well and got angry and I was all around a hot mess. All I remember is getting into a room and my boyfriend came in and started scolding me but I was so confused because I genuinely didn’t know what I was doing. I said hurtful things to my boyfriend but I also don’t remember. I’m so embarrassed and humiliated. I know better. This is not my character at all. My boyfriend is now talking about breaking up. I can’t blame him, I’m so humiliated with myself that I can’t stop crying. All of his friends (and probably 30 strangers) think I’m mentally unstable. This is seriously not my character. I’m so humiliated. Please help me or give me positive advice. I know I messed up. Trust me, I will never drink again.