I wrote this before I got married almost 3 years ago.... now I’m divorced

I wrote this about two months before I got married. Just a back ground, my ex husband and I were high school sweet hearts. When things got real and we were entering adulthood we faced so many problems cheating (both parties) and depression. But we always hung onto each other even when our relationship died (twice). When we got engaged it was just an agreement and we were crazy excited it was just a next step that we took. I loved him and he loved me but we weren’t meant for each other. At the end of our marriage things fell apart and we had to force ourselves to open our own eyes and see how co-dependent we were of each other and see how toxic we were for each other. Things got physical between us and that’s when we separated for reals. Now we’re in the divorce process. Looking back and throwing things away, I found this. It reminds me of how I was always trying to put up a front with how I felt just to keep things good between us. I knew before marriage that we weren’t supposed to be together yet I still got married.

This is supposed to be “the two sides of love” but now that I read it that was my inner two sides fighting inside me.

Here’s another page 20-30 days before my wedding

Empty.

This page is 14 days before.

I wrote this after an argument we had and he threw our past in my face.