Jealousy.

My husbands ex is in labor, right now as we speak. Another, is pregnant. Another, is expecting her daughter to be born in 4 weeks. My old boss, is expecting. My cousin, expecting. Uncle and his wife, expecting. Husbands grandpa & his wife, just had their baby. Best friend, 2 babies. Neighbor, expecting.

IM SURROUNDED BY THESE WOMEN HAVING BABIES, and I cannot help but explode with jealousy... guilt. Hurt. Trauma. EVERYTHING. Why can’t my body just have a baby on its own?! Why can’t we just have a baby? Is it bc he thinks I’m not ready? Is it because we aren’t financially ready? Well, nobody ever is. Truly. God. The guilt and jealousy is eating me alive... WHOLE. 😭 I’ve been feeling period symptoms this entire time, and it’s my body literally craving a baby!! I don’t wanna wait till I’m 29 to have my baby. I’m exploding with jealousy😞