So I have a family situation that I’ve been struggling to “move on” from, because I still don’t know exactly how far I should take things... I’ll try to explain the backstory as briefly as possible:

We’ll call her “Jane”: my girl cousin’s husband (We’ll call him ‘Dick’) did some business with my husband’s business along with several other members of my family. My husband was already hesitant cuz he could tell Dick was gonna be a pain. Sure enough, this past summer, Dick thought he could get special treatment and bend the rules; being a professional, my husband said he couldn’t do that. Dick then proceeded to try different tactics to get his way: begged, bullied, accused him of some terrible things, then ultimately threatened lawsuit against my husband. Dick is used to getting his way, and couldn’t stand how unmoved my husband was by his stunts. In the end Dick lost his temper and got really nasty, he told my husband “You are no longer family to me, I don’t want to see your face ever again, you’re not allowed in our home, I don’t want you near me or my kids.” (MIND YOU: every other family member had NO problem with not getting special treatment) We were originally invited to their kid’s b day party, but Dick said my husband was not allowed to come, while adding, “But your wife is still welcome because she’s not a part of this.”

Obviously, I had NO desire of going to their kid’s party considering my husband was banned from ever being around them. Things were going to be super awkward though, because there are several other family gatherings they would be at, but we couldn’t let him win by never showing up to things they were at. I was still cordial to my cousin, but I did not go out of my way to say hi to Dick and my husband just ignored him and Dick did the same to us. My husband and I are best friends, we’re a team, and if you’re against my husband you’re against me. Especially when my husband did nothing wrong.

The tricky thing now though is: my husband and I both noticed that Jane was now pretty much ignoring my husband too, which could only mean that Dick told her his own version of what happened and now she must think my husband is a terrible person. She’s a lot older than me so we never really hung out one on one, but she would invite me to events of hers. The last thing I wanted to do is start a feud so I’ve still gone to some of her things and treat her the same, but it really bothers me knowing that she actually believes these terrible accusations against my husband. We’ve never mentioned it- it’s just this “thing” that we’re both aware of. Naturally, my husband isn’t crazy about me supporting her at her events, and I honestly don’t want to go either, but I’m always afraid of offending anyone so I end up being too nice all the time even when people don’t do the same for me.

So: she has another event happening tonight that she invited me and my mom to via text last week and I just always get that nervous feeling having to be around her and it’s just ruining my family gatherings cuz I always automatically get a little anxiety now just wondering if “They’re” going to be there.

PLEASE give me advice!! I don’t have anyone to go to because my husband doesn’t want to get anyone else involved unnecessarily which I totally get... but it kills me that no one knows what a real DICK this guy is!! Cuz he acts like Mr. perfect for everyone else... 😒

I don’t know what to do, do I go to the event tonight?? Do I give an excuse not to??

EDIT: No, my husband isn’t making it up, because I was there in the room during the phone call this occurred on and I heard everything Dick was saying because he was loud and angry, while my husband remained civil. He also kept bombarding my husband with text messages which he also showed me